Certainly one of my closest guy friends (I’m a female) recently had a breakup. He and their ex have been together since university (we’re now inside our 30s) and I also have somehow become his “back in the scene” confidante. We have no idea why—maybe because I became solitary for many our 20s? My buddy is average-to-attractive, and so the chances are super in their favor because NYC features a shortage of decent dudes, it frequently appears. The thing is that he’s acting like he’s still 19. Or not really him at 19 because we had been all big nerds, many label of a frat boy. It is actually strange and it generates me personally really uncomfortable. He rates ladies on a 1–10 scale without any irony, he covers their “game, I know his ex well, and she says he’s average at best)” he brags about being super great at sex (. He’s perhaps not acting just like the individual I’ve known all those full years and I also don’t really understand simple tips to phone him onto it. Like, I’m glad he’s getting available to you, resting around, doing most of the material he seems like he missed away on, but he doesn’t need to behave like an ass about any of it. When I’ve attempted to carefully mention whenever he’s being a cock, he shrugs it well. Exactly exactly What can I do right here?
So are there two possibilities right right here: One, that this is actually the guy he’s for ages been, but somehow his ex kept it in balance in which he never ever felt liberated to let their flag that is asshole fly. Or two, he’s going right on through some types of sex chatrooms strange period he’ll be super embarrassed about later on.
In either case, if he’s making you uncomfortable, you don’t need certainly to keep on being their intercourse journal. Just state, “Dude, that’s not necessarily one thing you’ll want to share him off when he overshares with me, ” and keep cutting. Between you two as you need if he pushes it, it’s 100 percent within your friendship rights to put as much space. Supporting a buddy by way of a divorce proceedings is a component to be a buddy, but hearing a dude carry on about how exactly some actual person is really a “7.5 face, solid 8 human body” just isn’t.
If you believe this can be precisely how he’s to any extent further, i might go on and move ahead.
It sucks to reduce buddy that old, but inaddition it sucks become buddies with an individual who is an asshole. My gut claims that this is certainly simply a phase, though, and perhaps well well well worth seeing through. You pointed out that you’re nevertheless friends together with his ex: Could this all be information he’s hoping get back again to her through the grapevine?
Or possibly he dropped down some type or sorts of online gap right into a pickup musician types of forum and also this is simply exactly what he believes people do now? Or he’s insecure about his not enough information about just exactly exactly how non-college students gather, and that’s manifesting as some type of late-onset frat bro? Perhaps you have to stop being gentle: simply simply Take him down for beers and extremely lay it away for him that he’s being gross and strange, and that he’s likely to fundamentally lose buddies and possible cool ladies to date acting like that. Simply tell him exactly just exactly what females really like. Breakups do strange what to individuals, often. Best of luck. You seem like a friend that is good.